Things I overheard: "Belch"

"Belch". Tanner likes to convert burps into open mouthed, drawn out, rumbly, belches. He can compete with Homer Simpson. I think his lips even rumble; due to the force of the burp coming out of his mouth. This drives me crazy. 


Initially I was proud of his accomplishment. The day  he figured out how to burp. His whole face lite up. I might of even clapped and shouted "yeah!". Of course, he was much younger and his burp was cute and innocent.


But now, he is a belching monster.


"What?" when I give him the displeased mom look. "I had to burp" he says innocently. As if the burping is a method to keep his head from exploding.


I am not a big fan of telling your kids non truths well unless, its for adult comedy. Then its O.K.


So the other day when Tanner walked in the house and gave off this disgusting belch. I lied.


Me: sitting on the couch getting the bird nerd on; reading birders magazine. Without looking up, I said "Tanner, do you like your left hand?" 


Tanner: "What?"


Me: (Still reading the magazine) "Do you like your left hand?"


Tanner: "Yeah?"


Me: (slowly, I turn page of magazine and still don't look up). "Well if you keep burping like that your left hand will fall off!"


Tanner: "What?" Out of the corner of my eye, I witness the look of concern as it blooms on his face.


(Casi, behind tanner, peaks into the room a grin on her face)


Tanner: concerned now, says "but I have to burp sometimes".


Me: (still reading the magazine) "Well, I guess you better get it under control or 'pop!' just like that it will fall off. 


Tanner trudges upstairs deep in thought, Casi and I control giggles, and the burping has stopped (at least for a week or two).


Update: I just learned that Casi elongated the causes of burping to include the "growth of a tentacle that you can not control"