I would guess that this is going to be a little controversial and I may even get a few negative comments (Disclaimer: This is NOT about LGBT rights) but I have to post it because, I think there is a lesson in it. Besides I took pictures with my new iphone app and I think they turned out pretty awesome. So here is the story:The kids and I went roller bladding and scootering at the Jordan River parkway (JRP) a few Saturdays ago. We decided to go while Nate was sleeping. He is still working nights, leaving us with another reason to leave the house on weekend mornings.
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| Casi and I skated while holding hands. (Love this) |
She gets up with a smile on her face and continues on.
A few minuets later, a stranger comes up and starts to berate Casi and I with information regarding wrist guards, knee guards and helmets. "They can prevent scrapes." he says.
Side Rant 1: Scrapes? When have we EVER been worried about scrapes?
He continues on. Giving us lots of things to consider for the rest of the day and ending the conversation with “I am concerned with your safety.”
Side rant 2: OMG! Really? I can see how I am living a dangerous life without wrist supports. Golly gee, I hope he has arch supports in his walking shoes. Can you imagine the possible feet problems he can develop if he does not? (sorry, I just had to let that out.)Casi and I responded through out the conversation with confused looks uncomfortable laughter.
Now, the thing I have not told you is that as we were leaving for JRP Tanner tried to load Casi and my helmets* ** and I told him not to. I did not think what Casi and I were doing required a helmet. Of course, this means I was taking some level of risk with Casi's head and my head. Although, it was a very, very, very small level of risk I will admit it was there. I then told Tanner he would need his helmet. Knowing how he rides and his lack of attention of his surroundings.****This means that my kid is trained to wear a helmet and sees them as standard, necessary gear when riding wheeled items.
** I would never consider knee pads for the JRP unless my child was very young. In a fall on rough surfaces it can cause the person to stop too fast and slam their face into the concrete. Knee pads should be reserved for the very young and for smooth surfaces (such as skateboard parks, skate rings, and half pipes) where you can use the knee pads for sliding in a fall.
***He ran 3 people off the trail and almost collided with one attentive (thankfully) bike rider.
Some time later, before we pass this nosy stranger a second time, Casi feels weird and wonders what to say. I respond “You should tell him that his hair style is outdated and you are concerned with his social standing.” She giggles because he sports the long wavy 80's hair that strangely match the Standard poodles he is walking. Then, more seriously I say “You did nothing wrong and it's just his opinion. We have our own feelings about the subject. I would say nothing.”
Of course, Casi and I discussed this issue the remaining time at the park. “I wish I would have said something when he said that." she says.
“Why?" I respond. "What you said was perfect."
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| After our trip down the Jordan River parkway, Tanner and I raced down a short hill. Tanner said "I think Mini Man would like this!" and sat down on his scooter. "MiniMan"is what he calls his alter ego; the sitting Tanner. |
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| Me racing down the hill. Being helmetless never felt so good! |
So I have two questions on this:
1) Are we so trained as a society, that we can not allow others to evaluate their own risk?
2) What things do you feel so strongly about that you feel the need to share your thoughts to a perfect stranger?
My list of things I feel so strongly about that I (may) feel the need to share them:
1) LGBT rights. J
I thinking post I love those. Hmm...I know what you are talking about here as I have felt pressure about safety issues too. Its kind of weird. I thought you were very thoughtful in your decisions. I had a close friend whose son recently had a very traumatic head injury recently, so part of me says yicks safety first, but the other part of me is says really my kids will be just fine if the jump on a trampoline without a net I did and I survived. I think there has to be a line, safety vs over-protectiveness. I think you found a good balance.
ReplyDelete1. Paul and I often wonder how we ever survived in the 70's! No seat belts - Yikes! No helmets - double yikes! Metal walkers for toddlers that could collapse at will - total danger! I'm certain the list could go on and on. ;-) Of course, I do appreciate that the world has got a bit safer and I use many of the items, but I feel that the time to show concern for another's safety is actually BEFORE they start the activity...once started it's really just being judgmental.
ReplyDelete2. One thing that gets me to say something in public is when I feel someone is being abused or totally disrespected. IE: I was in HOT TOPIC and a 15ish year old girl was yelling at her mom telling her she better get her the clothes she wants and that her mom's taste sucked. She dropped the F bomb several times and called her mom a "bitch". I couldn't take it any more. After the girl's tirade, when the mom went to get the shirt the girl wanted, I walked up to the girl and told her (in a soft voice) that she was being mean and should be kind to her mom because mom's don't deserve that. The girl was a little embarrassed and said a bit sheepishly that she knew that. I left it at that and walked away. I'm sure the girl won't change her behavior, but maybe she'll be more careful in public. And of course the mom needs to stand up for herself and set some boundaries, but I'd do it again. I'd totally yell at an adult who was beating a kid. There is too much meanness in the world and I don't think it's good manners or "socially correct" to let that sort of behavior go on because it's "not our business". End of Soapbox.
And nice photos by the way.
I am sure that I have many a soapbox, but the one that comes foremost to mind (probably because it happens way too often at work) is when you direct a question to one person someone else close by decides to answer for that person-drives me crazy. Although, I am guilty of this irritant myself on occasion. Which kind of happens to everyone I think. In one way we say something, but we don't always follow/act on that something as verbal as we might be about it. There is always room for slip ups, no one is perfect in this in-perfect world. So that is probably where my biggest irritant is, when people judge others for something they believe or say. They stress about others behaviors without passing judgement on themself and checking their own behavior. Again, I know that I have been guilty of this behavior myself. But, I have grown to recognize (still a work in progress)and get over it. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where it was okay to openly say whatever we felt at any given time without offending others.
ReplyDeleteOkay so I have to comment again. I didn't answer your last question, I had to think about it for a few days. I realized tonight what I feel so strongly about that I would talk to a complete stranger about...Adoption. Adoption has obviously changed my life, but it is (in my opinion) not given the attention it needs or deserves.
ReplyDeleteBeth: I agree that adoption would be a subject you will openly discuss with strangers. It has meant the world to you; two times. :) I also think it means the world to your two little girls. It is such a great program.
ReplyDeleteTink: I love what you said about how after the action is started the information is "judgmental" and not helpful. I have never made that connection before. I will try to remember that tid-bit of information the next time I am on my soap box. As usual, you are a boat load of good information!
Lisa: I have to stop myself every time I take my kids to the doctors. Its such an awkward thing. Course, I am not sure that asking the kids what is wrong is the best idea either. They do not know how to describe the issue yet. The doctor asks the kids what is going on and the kids look at me with eyes that say "tell this fool what the problem is" and then after a long pause. I ask the kid if they would like me to tell the doctor what is wrong and then I do. As far as being judgmental of others for the things we do ourselves, I think this is a common thing and is something we all can work on. :)
As far as the helmet safety thing... I think there are always risks and it is up to the person to evaluate them. To me riding without a helmet (at times) gives me a sense of freedom. Just like (at times) wearing a helmet gives me that same sense. It is up to me to determine that. Just like the man ridding a motorcycle without a helmet or the lady smoking or the overweight person drinking a diet coke, or the teen age girl with a fake baked tan, or a parent feeding their kid corn syrup, or someone who eats the whole egg -even the yellow part, or heaven forbid... goes to the rollerbladding without a helmet. We all take risks everyday. Its just that society judges some harsher than others and some unfairly. To support this idea, I saw a chart of injuries for a range of different sports. The chart was normalized by the number of participants participating. Roller skating (in the 80-90's -pre helmet craze) was less dangerous that golf and fishing. Something to think about.... I think?
Once again you provided a great forum to get us thinking. Well done. I enjoyed these comments. I do think that for the most part we humans care about each other. Sometimes we are careful how we show it. I don't mind someone pointing out a potential hazard as long as they are being a friend and not a judge.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Beth about the adoption topic. LOVE IT!!
Just saw a typo in my last comment. I meant to say "aren't careful how we show it". I guess my fingers ran away with me. ;-)
ReplyDeleteTink: Beth has a great post on adoption on her blog right now. You should check it out. http://birdingbeth.blogspot.com/2011/09/plant-eating-children-are-better-than.html
ReplyDelete