“Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t.” Pete Seeger.
The phone call went something like this, "Tanner needs to be picked up from school. He has a battery in his ear". Of course, my question was "Double or triple A?"
Tanner was rather nervous as he picked up his bag, coat, and as he told me his battery-in-ear story. It went something like this. "Cole found a battery on the playground and then it got in my ear... somehow". He was very uncomfortable about this story so I did not ask more questions and instead enjoyed a quiet car ride to the doctor. I imagine he was thinking about the shot he was going to get to remedy the battery in his ear. You know, because kids think shots cure EVERYTHING. Shots are kind of like band aids.
At the doctors office, Tanner told the same story. "Cole found a battery on the playground and then it got in my ear... somehow". After the story was over, the doctor looked at me and I gave him my best "Yes. That is our story. And, we are sticking to it" look. The doctor paused, then took out a handy stick with a light on it and proceeded to stick it in Tanners ear.
Tanner sat there so well but, I could see he was getting uncomfortable so I started talking. I started talking about the different methods, Tanner and I discussed, on how to get a battery out of an ear. Tanners plan was to put backing soda and vinegar into his ear. This would cause a reaction that would force the battery out of his ear. Then at about the same time I finished my story, the doctor started to get VERY excited. Exclaiming "I got it. Ohhh, I got it." In celebration for the doctors euphoric moment, Tanner and I started clapping and cheering. The doctor may have even jumped around before settling into his documentation of the event in his notebook. "Foreign object extracted from left ear."
It was the BEST DOCTOR VISIT EVER because, we went in with an issue and left with it resolved. There was not a "Take two of these and call me in the morning." or "We have to left this work itself out.". It was done. Finished. (And there was clapping.)
On the way home from the doctor, I asked Tanner if he was ever going to tell me the real story about how the battery appeared in his ear. He then told me that "Cole put it there to be funny." Which, strangely, made me feel a little bit better because, its never the brightest student in class that likes to put random objects into their ear (I stuck an eraser up my nose).
Then, I started to think, maybe I should put the $75.00 doctor bill in Cole's .... mailbox.
Then, I started to think, maybe I should put the $75.00 doctor bill in Cole's .... mailbox.
HaHa! We prefer objects up the nose at our home. Me, a marble when I was about Tanner's age (I was able to blow it out without the Doc's help) Bayli, a pea, right before a vacation. She wasn't big enough to understand how to blow it out-that sounds terrible. So, the Doc got the bucks for that one-only because we didn't want to wait for the workout or the possible sinus infection that might have occurred while vacationing.
ReplyDeleteWhat a crazy experience! And cleverly written as well. So true about the shots being band-aids, never thought of it that way. My sister put hard lima bean up her nose and it actually started to bud. Another sister put a piece of sponge up her nose, then forgot about it. Let me just say the odor was NOT pleasant, poor thing. Both items got removed. My daughter put a metalic sticker up her nose; had to go to the doctor for that one because since it was sharp it kept cutting her when we tried to get it out. The brilliant gal did the same thing 2 days later....But we've never had an ear episode. btw, kudos to you for handling it so well.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you write it cracks me up!
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