Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of the passing of Proposition 8.

I remember where I was as I sat and watched President Obama elected into office. I sat and watched the election in my home with Nate. I was elated. Then I watched proposition 8 pass in California and my stomach sank. I literally felt ill. I could not believe what I was seeing. On the same day, within the same moment,  I watched one wall of inequality crashed down and another built.

Here that same day is remembered on another blog.

Equally, I will never forget where I was, 2 years ago today, when I learned that Proposition 8 had passed, taking that freedom away.

The following night, feeling powerless and alone, I attended a candlelight vigil on the steps of City Hall in San Francisco, after which I jotted down my experience of that evening, after the speeches had ended:

Over the murmur of the crowd, someone began singing “we shall not be moved”, at first a single voice, then another, and then a group. As flame passed from candle to candle, from stranger to neighbor, someone raised their candle above their head, others joined in, and 2,000 tiny lights lifted up for a common purpose. In that moment, I found my voice again, within the community; we all found our voices once more.

The whole article can be read here.

To: My LDS friends and family:

I am troubled.
I am troubled by Elder Boyd K. Packer’s General Conference speech on Sunday. It was the one message I heard from General conference. I wish I had not. The uproar from LDS members and non-members is everywhere, so it was not hard to listen. Each day another person gives an opinion on the topic. Today I add my thoughts. I want to start by saying that I think the general authorities are good men who try their best. I even believe that they are and can be inspirational. They definitely do good things. But, they are also human with their own biases and opinions. So I ask, can they be wrong? Of course, the answer is yes. I could list tons of examples where the LDS leaders and the church  has altered its views; even changing a view "that the church [has] been saying for the last 2 decades. Yep DECADES!!" And so could you. But this, is not about what was said. It is about how it was said.

And that is why  I am confused.
I am confused because, Packard’s speech, for me, was contrary to what other LDS leaders have been doing and saying. It was contrary to how I feel the church and its members are.  It was contrary to what I had been observing after prop 8.  Prop 8 and the LDS involvement scared and hurt neighbors, wards, and families. Due to this, some LDS members brought groups together to educate and resolve these hurts. At one meeting where 13 gay and straight Mormons spoke “There was sobbing. There were tears. Elder Jensen also shed tears as he listened and took notes to share with other General Authorities back in Salt Lake City. At the conclusion of the hour, he apologized for the pain he was witnessing.” LDS leaders cried alongside a group of LDS and gay youth. Loving them for who they are. Observing and listening to their struggles. Gaining greater understanding for the gay individual and the LDS families that include gay and lesbian individuals. You can find more to this story here.  This does not mean that I thought the LDS church changed its views but this behavior better reflected how I feel these contradictory beliefs, between the LGBT community and yours, should be handled. Unfortunately, Elder Packer's talk seemed determined to change that and for what?

His speech only caused pain.
Packard gave a “license to hate” homosexuals or to at least look down upon them. Some have said, “He did MUCH more damage with his talk to more people than he helped. A heterosexual married person certainly wasn't helped by his talk. A gay LDS boy struggling with feelings of inadequacy was certainly harmed - hopefully not to the point of suicide - but it was a bad, demeaning talk.” I think this is true. It will have an affect on those struggling with who they are, what they believe of themselves, and how society accepts them. This struggle took 3-4 young boys last month as they ended their lives. Unable to go on and face the hate and lack of acceptance from those who surrounded them. The words Packard spoke were preached as living scripture; a message from god. There is a great weight to any word he speaks and he sent a message to be interpreted and used as fuel to the bigots and prejudice among us against. And its already starting "There's no such thing as gay people. It defies the laws of nature. It's like defying gravity, don't you know?" I read this in the news regarding gay rights. These are Packard's words. Would you say this statement to anyone you know? Now, how about a gay or lesbian child? And yet, we accept these same words from a church leader who is responsible spread the word and represent the love of Christ. The weight of this, for me, hangs heavy.

I am happy to hear that Packers speech has already been altered on the LDS website. The words softened but the message still clear. Like I said... its not what was said that has everyone upset. It was how it was said.

Angie

50:50

How the view of gay marriage is is changing across the states. 

Taken from prop8trialtracker.com

"In an op-ed in the New York Times Sunday, Columbia University political science professors Andrew Gelman, Jeffrey Lax and Justin Phillips wrote that while “gay marriage is not going away as a highly emotion, contested issue….perhaps the public has reached a turning point.” The professors cite a recent CNN poll that “found that a narrow majority of Americans supported same-sex marriage – the first poll to find majority support.” But, they write, “this trend will continue” because nationally, “a majority of people under age 30 support same-sex marriage.”
The Times created an interactive map (shown above) to go with the article – which shows the “groundswell” from 2004 to 2010. They also have a graphic that shows the trend state-by-state (shown below)"

What stands out to me?

1. Utah's standing in the whole issue; the lowest approval rating nationwide. Wonder why that is (said sarcastically)?
2. The upper portion of the curve caps out at 66%. I look forward to when it caps out at 100%
3. I love the young people (even if it excludes me ) of 30 and under. 
4. I hope that these findings give you hope, Mercy. I know it does for me.

Sesame Street: Grover discusses What Is Marriage?

Overturned

"Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of marriage licenses," the judge wrote. "Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite sex couples."

And an Q&A article on what happens next: link

Admitting mistakes

A mistake? An error? and he admits it? What? 

"So this is a mistake -- probably not the first one I'm going to be making in this office, but what I'm absolutely committed to doing is fixing it," Obama said. 

What a bright contrast in comparison to the last eight years; where the opportunity of recognizing ones mistakes or fixing them was rarely taken. 

Fourty-4

Have you ever thought that all the great moments in history have already happened?

I did an interview, of my Grandma Verdie in elementary school. Learning about her life gave a presence to her time and opened the doors to the possibilities of my own. After writing my report I sat and wondered about how things will change over my life. Perhaps, due to a lack of imagination, I could not think of anything. Everything seemed as it would always be.

Time went on. I am 20. My Grandpa Dan is sick; living the last few years of his life. Nate and I would spent a few hours visiting with him one Sunday a month. I loved these visits. With only Nate and I there he would get chatty and tell us his life stories. The stories that made him into who he was. Stories about what he loved and what made him laugh. Stories about times almost forgotten. During one of these visits I wondered what I would remember; what I would want to tell my grand kids when the time came to tell my stories. Before we left Grandpa, sitting in his recliner would reach up and give me a hug. I always smelled foldgers in his hugs. I smell it right now while I write this.

Today, an African-American was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States. I have heard the statement "we are witnesses to history". Its true! We are witness to this historical moment but I can not help but feel that this moment is greater than the color of this mans skin. Based on today's experience, if I was speaking to my Grand kids, I would tell them about the man who aspires to be a president of the people and how this was reflected by the hundreds of thousands of people standing in freezing temperatures to see his inauguration; clothed in cotton hats and gloves, coats and scarfs instead of furs and fancy shoes. I would tell them of how he spoke of diplomacy and respect of other nations and how he plans to bring peace. And I would tell them how he gave hope to the people of America "amidst gathering clouds and raging storms".
For we are in a difficult times. "we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, ... Our economy is badly weakened,...Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet." He warned us during his inauguration speech of these issues. There is still more to be done.

Yes, he made history by becoming the first black US president and we were all witness to that but there is further history to be made. I heard someone say the worst times in American History brings out the greatest presidents. I believe, we are having one of those times and that he has the potential to be one of those presidents. It is my hope that we will be witness to that as well.

It's time to update President Thomas S. Monson's résumé

"Q" Salt Lake, Utah's gay and lesbian magazine has announced the recipient of its "person of the year" ward. Recognizing Monson for having the biggest impact on the gay community in 2008. Mainly for his letter urging Mormons to donate of there "means and time" to help eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry within the state of California in support of proposition 8. By giving Monson this award, Q magazine has recognized Monson, this letter, and the activity's of the LDS church in not only successfully winning prop 8 but also in igniting a new wave of gay-rights activism.

I think we have seen this before...

Do no harm

I know. I know I cannot help myself. But here I go again......

For those that are sick of the subject of Gay rights please don't read on. I have a few e-mails (from previous posts) that I would like to resolve. Besides till the war is won a person must keep fighting ( I learned that from good old George). Also, since the e-mails I received were from LDS saints I have curved my post toward them. 

 Mormons are sheep not bigots

 I have a cousin who was arrested for standing next to two men who were selling drugs. She went to jail and she has a criminal record.  According to her testimony she was not selling drugs. She did not know who they were and she did not have any drugs on her person when the arrest was made. 

 The LDS church contributed 75% of the dollars spent in marketing Prop 8 to California's citizens. Some, all, most (insert your preferred adjective) of the marketing selling this proposition was based on unfounded statements regarding religious freedom, adoption laws, education laws, and the moral standing of those who support gay rights and gays themselves.  These statements bashed gays and their lifestyle and the laws enacted limited their lives and happiness.  Mormons, bless their hearts, made a stance regarding this and they will reap the reward. Be it heaven or hell (once again your preference) or just some good old name-calling.

 So if you are Mormon, people MAY think you are a bigot (insert chauvinist or prejudice if you would like). If you are Mormon and didn't vote for the legislation, people MAY think you are a bigot.  I may even go as far to say, if you associate yourself with Mormons, people MAY think you are a bigot. But seriously are Mormons bigots? No! They do not hate and this is a key ingredient to being a bigot. So if you are one of the above people and someone calls you a bigot, please understand they might be angry. They just had their rights taken away.  

 Gay is a choice - Nature vs. Nurture

  I could care less about this argument; genetic or choice it doesn't matter to me and honestly being gay could involve one, the other, or both depending on an individual.  I love diversity. I love that people are different and as long as you do no harm to others I could care less about what you do in your home and with your heart. But this seems to matter to some so here goes.

Most researchers believe that behavior generally is affected by both genes and life history. Course there are scientist that would argue both sides of this argument.  Furthering this complexity is the fact that something as complex as a behavior, if predetermined by the genome, would utilize more than one gene.Making it even more difficult to pull out the specific genes necessary for a certain behavior.  I hope everyone can understand the difficulty resolving weather being gay is a choice (what ever that means) or genetically predetermined.  That being said I did find this article, published this year, regarding some research being done in Italy. It describes how, if gay is genetic, the gene(s) would survive through evolution.

 "A team of researchers found that some female relatives of gay men tend to have more children than average. The scientists used a computer model to explain how two genes passed on through the maternal line could produce this effect. In 2004 the researchers studied about 200 Italian families and found that the mothers, maternal aunts and maternal grandmothers of gay men are more fecund, or fruitful, than average. "These genes work in a sexually antagonistic way — that means that when they're represented in a female, they increase fecundity, and when they're represented in a male, they decrease fecundity. It's a trait that benefits one sex at the cost of the other."

 This theory does not explain homosexuality in females.

Gay is a choice (?)... and so is the religion you follow

Even if gay is a choice, I do not think this validates discrimination.  The hypocrisy of this statement stands in our faces, especially for those that choose to follow a certain religion. Religion is a choice. It is also a freedom given to us by the founders of our country Our founders knew and the LDS church knows how CHOOSING a religion can cause persecution from others. They know this through their history. We know it through the history of our country. A history of death and loss, and choice. These experiences should strengthen understanding and acceptance of others and should give strong testimonies to not persecute others based on differences.  Even differences of choice.

 Homosexuality is not "Natural" 

 I grew up with bisexual mallards. We had one female and two males and a goose of unknown gender. When the female mallard was on a nest or two quick for the male mallards they would take turns with each other (or the goose if he/she wasn't quick enough). If you want to see "natural" homosexual action just visit your local aviary or park pond.  Course you may also witness duck rape. They do that too. 

 Homosexuality happens in nature and has "been documented in almost 500 species of animals...the closest living relative to humans, bonobos are not shy about seeking sexual pleasure…They copulate frequently, scream out in delight while doing so, and often engage in homosexual activities. About two thirds of the homosexual activities are amongst females." I had the opportunity to see videos of these animals in a woman's lib class in college. If I have to listen to one more person say homosexuality is not natural I may puke or rather try physically beating sense into them with a thick piece of wood.  You can see more of these wonderful and very endangered animals here. 

Do no Harm

 "The LDS church as well as those who founded our country were persecuted based on their belief system. This history has affected our families, religions and country. These experiences should strengthen our understanding and acceptance of others and should give us strong testimonies to not persecute others based on differences." 

I received this response to the above statement. "'I don't think that the "discrimination that the LDS church went through in its early days' is the issue here. It was the assassination, physical persecution, and the actual destruction of property that was Unacceptable. If someone hates you, that is okay. If they, because of their dislike, kill someone in your family and physically force you out of your home... that is a totally different thing."

I agree with this response but I would argue that WE DO HARM to the gay community when we do not accept them. 

An excerpt from an e-mail Nate never sent (hope he doesn't mind):

"This weekend I plan to share a glass of whiskey with my good friend Jonathan, and quietly remember the passing of his long time boyfriend Asher who slipped away last year, a week before Christmas. His tragic death was due to an overdose on anti depressants, prescribed to help him deal with his deep depression, mainly caused by his inability to deal with his parents and family disowning him. We will try and help Jonathan remember the good times, and forget the sadness and anger he felt as he arranged a Christmas-eve funeral that the young mans family refused to attend…because their boy turned out GAY"

"The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimated ₃ that "as many as 30% of completed youth suicides each year" are performed by gays and lesbians" This number is staggering when it is estimated that only 5% of the total number of  youth are gay. 

From this website:

The Guardian, an English newspaper reported on a study by Dr Ian Rivers, a senior lecturer in social psychology at York, St John College in England. He suggests that there could be as many as 46,000 young people being bullied for their real or perceived sexual orientation in British secondary schools........Rivers has looked at the effects of homophobic bullying on young gays and lesbians and found that more than half considered suicide because of aggression at school, and that 40% of that group had actually tried to kill themselves; three-quarters of these had tried to kill themselves more than once.

Considering that:

• Homophobia is largely based on religious beliefs which among Christians are derived from about 6 quotations from the Bible.
• Three out of four Americans identify themselves as Christians
• Most Christian churches have actively taught hatred of homosexuality for decades.
• Conservative Christian churches are currently leading the fight to:
  • Prevent gays and lesbians from enjoying rights and protections equal to the general population,
  • Prohibit marriages for loving, committed same-sex couples,
  • Oppose adoption by gay or lesbian adults, and
  • Keep accurate information on sexual orientation out of the public schools.

we estimate that Christian churches are responsible for at least 40% of the homophobia in the United States.

Another way of looking at this is to imagine what would happen to the acceptance of homosexuality in North American culture if all religious institutions were as active in promoting equal rights and acceptance of gays and lesbians as the Unitarian Universalist Association and United Church of Christhave been for many years. After a few decades, children would no longer grow up hating homosexuals. After puberty, when a minority of children became aware of their own homosexual or bisexual orientation, they would accept it as a normal expression of human sexuality. They would be far less liable to commit suicide to avoid a life of same-sex orientation.

Assuming that external and internal homophobia is a main cause of suicide, we believe that churches can be conservatively assigned indirect responsibility for about 496 youth gay/lesbian suicides per year. This rate is greater than the witch genocide rate in Western Europe during the witch burning times in the late Middle Ages and Renaissance.

If we include, suicides by homosexuals over the age of 24 (like Asher was),  and youth suicides which are reported as accidents, then the churches' (and our) responsibility is much greater. 

Yes, we can change!

I have mixed emotions regarding last nights election. In one evening we witnessed a big step, opposing discrimination, with the election of Obama but we also witnessed discrimination with the approval of constitutional amendments against the rights of gays and lesbians in California,  Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida.  Totaling 31 "defense of marriage" amendments that have been adopted from 1996 to 2008. The map below,excludes this years amendments but is still a valid visual representation of how this discrimination has spread over our country. Perhaps, for some the map gives happiness, or relief of fear; representing our nation being saved from "Armageddon". I however, do not see it this way.  I have hope and faith that I will see these amendments changed to include all forms of marriage, love, and family. I look forward to a united America; Red, Blue, Black, White, Homosexual and Heterosexual. 

To those close to me, I know you understand my views on this subject. I am lucky, in that, I am surrounded by people with differing perspectives in politics and religion. Who grant me greater objectivity and help guide me into further understanding of their views.

     No amendment

     Grants legislature authority to ban same-sex marriage

     Bans same-sex marriage      Bans same-sex marriage and civil unions

     Bans gay marriage, civil unions, and any marriage-like contract between unmarried persons

Propaganda Victim

"Naturally the common people don't want war.... That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”


This quote is from Hermann Goering at the Nuremberg Nazi trials. Nate brought my attention to it in reference to the Bush administrations ability to move an entire country into war but I have come to feel that it can also be applied to any idea that is spread through fear and confusion. I remember how I felt before the war. We had so much information coming at us and it was hard to see what was right and wrong, and fact or fiction.


Now I am watching some of those around me struggle with these same emotions regarding prop 8. "The campaign promoting Proposition 8, which proposes to amend the state Constitution to bad same-sex marriages, has masterfully misdirected its audience, California voters." There is a lot of information out there regarding this amendment and most of it is riddled with half truths in order to evoke an emotion from the viewer. Due to this, I worry that most individuals are voting based on the propaganda placed before them. Voting on what they heard, what they fear and not on personal research into the facts.


Do not let others control your thoughts and direct your vote. Most of what is said about prop 8 can easily be researched and proven false on government sites or with a fact checker. Here is a link from the LA times that another blogger made me aware of. I think it explains how I feel and validates the research I have done on this subject. Please check it out and then verify it for yourself.


Propaganda is a concerted set of messages aimed at influencing the opinions or behaviors of large numbers of people. As opposed to impartially providing information, propaganda in its most basic sense presents information in order to influence its audience. Propaganda often presents facts selectively (thus lying by omission) to encourage a particular synthesis, or gives loaded messages in order to produce an emotional rather than rational response to the information presented. The desired result is a change of the cognitive narrative of the subject in the target audience to further a political agenda. wikipedia