Things I over heard: I am concerned for your safety

I would guess that this is going to be a little controversial and I may even get a few negative comments (Disclaimer: This is NOT about LGBT rights) but I have to post it because, I think there is a lesson in it. Besides I took pictures with my new iphone app and I think they turned out pretty awesome. So here is the story:

The kids and I went roller bladding and scootering at the Jordan River parkway (JRP) a few Saturdays ago. We decided to go while Nate was sleeping. He is still working nights, leaving us with another reason to leave the house on weekend mornings.

Casi and I skated while holding hands. (Love this)

We were having a great time with each other. Laughing, talking, chasing each other and all that stuff that comes with such activities. Of course, Tanner is spending most of his time jumping off of any bump in the trail. He rides without a care (for anyone or his own safety) When, Casi falls.

She gets up with a smile on her face and continues on. 

A few minuets later, a stranger comes up and starts to berate Casi and I with information regarding wrist guards, knee guards and helmets. "They can prevent scrapes." he says.

Side Rant 1: Scrapes? When have we EVER been worried about scrapes?

He continues on. Giving us lots of things to consider for the rest of the day and ending the conversation with “I am concerned with your safety.” 

Side rant 2: OMG! Really? I can see how I am living a dangerous life without wrist supports. Golly gee, I hope he has arch supports in his walking shoes. Can you imagine the possible feet problems he can develop if he does not? (sorry, I just had to let that out.)

Casi and I responded through out the conversation with confused looks uncomfortable laughter.

Now, the thing I have not told you is that as we were leaving for JRP Tanner tried to load Casi and my helmets*  ** and I told him not to. I did not think what Casi and I were doing required a helmet. Of course, this means I was taking some level of risk with Casi's head and my head. Although, it was a very, very, very small level of risk I will admit it  was there. I then told Tanner he would need his helmet. Knowing how he rides and his lack of attention of his surroundings.***
*This means that my kid is trained to wear a helmet and sees them as standard, necessary gear when riding wheeled items.
** I would never consider knee pads for the JRP unless my child was very young. In a fall on rough surfaces it can cause the person to stop too fast and slam their face into the concrete. Knee pads should be reserved for the very young and for smooth surfaces (such as skateboard parks, skate rings, and half pipes) where you can use the knee pads for sliding in a fall. 
***He ran 3 people off the trail and almost collided with one attentive (thankfully) bike rider. 

Some time later, before we pass this nosy stranger a second time, Casi feels weird and wonders what to say. I respond “You should tell him that his hair style is outdated and you are concerned with his social standing.”  She giggles because he sports the long wavy 80's hair that strangely match the Standard poodles he is walking. Then, more seriously I say “You did nothing wrong and it's just his opinion. We have our own feelings about the subject. I would say nothing.”

Of course, Casi and I discussed this issue the remaining time at the park. “I wish I would have said something when he said that." she says.

“Why?" I respond. "What you said was perfect." 

After our trip down the Jordan River parkway, Tanner and I raced down a short hill.
Tanner said "I think Mini Man would like this!" and sat down on his scooter.
"MiniMan"is what he calls his alter ego; the sitting Tanner.

Me racing down the hill. Being helmetless never felt so good!

So I have two questions on this:

1) Are we so trained as a society, that we can not allow others to evaluate their own risk?

2) What things do you feel so strongly about that you feel the need to share your thoughts to a perfect stranger? 

My list of things I feel so strongly about that I (may) feel the need to share them:

1) LGBT rights. J

Swimming pool deprivation

and 95 degree weather may lead to sticking your head in the beer cooler.

Five minutes after I took these pictures I went back outside. He had added soap to the tub and was, once again, sticking his head in it. He sat up with bubbles foaming in his hair and running down his chest and said "I needed a bath". Now thats a boy who can multitask.

(Disclaimer: Bathing outside is not due to lack of a tub.)

Things I overheard: Casi

Casi- taking pictures
(taken with my Iphone)

Casi: "Mom, I whine more than you."

Me: "No. I whine too. They just call it something else."

Things I overheard: The distance between two points can be short

Thank you for all of the comments on my last post. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed reading your feedback. To think, I almost did not allow for commenting. I am glad that I did.

~ a week ago:

Me: "Wow! You need new shoes."

Tanner: "What do you mean? They just started fitting right."



Today:

Me: "Wow! Your shoes are getting... interesting."

Tanner: "Ya, I need new shoes."

Before ....After

Sadly, I can not find replacements in the same "Bat and Eye" pattern.

Things I over heard: "Where is Vancouver?"

While sitting at R.C. Willey watching the Winter Olympics....


Boy: "Where is Vancouver?"

Girl: "Washington."

Things I overheard: Casi

Having a teenager is hard. I mean really hard. I blame. Me. And my moms curses. I was a hard teenager too. At least that is what she tells me. For, I thought I was fine and she was the deviant. At least, that is what I thought back then. Today. I admit. I was a hard teenager.


So as a parent, on a day when you win a battle, with your teenager, you should celebrate. Because yes. There are winners and losers. And it is, WAR!  So you celebrate. Because, as the parent, you don't get to win. Often. At least this is my experience. Or, at least my perception. Since, I am certain Casi would say otherwise. And probably thinks I am a deviant.


 And it matters because, you want so badly to be successful. Your success being tied to their success. In life. At least that is what her psychiatrist will tell her. As he explains how I screwed up. For I know, I will. Or already have.


But, I have digressed from my true point in this ramble. So when you realize you have had this small victory. You should celebrate. And Today. I choose to celebrate by bragging. 


Me: "The next time you say a negative comment you have to follow it with two positive ones."


Casi: "THAT IS....! (long pause) I guess I will just stop talking."


I won! right? She is such a smart girl.

Things I overheard: An explorers perspective

Me: "When tanner gets home, we are going some where. You will not complain."

Casi: "Where are we going?"

Me: "You will know soon enough."

Me: "Get your shoes and socks on. Dress warm. Its the last day of 44 degree weather this week. I want to go on a hike."

Me: "Do you feel this?"

Casi: "What?"

Me: "How we feel right now. Do you feel it?"

Casi: "Yeah? What about it?" She turns to me and smiles.

Me: "I want you to remember how we feel right now. I want you to remember, this hike, as we are right now."

Things I overheard: A true story

Disclaimer: Literary snobs beware! There is no punctuation and misspellings happen everywhere. Avert your eyes if you cannot handle it. Avert them!

The hantid watr Faootin

bi: Tanner Branhc

the watr faootin is hontid

aaaaa

It is hontid

it icsplodes watr in mi face

Things I overheard: "Belch"

"Belch". Tanner likes to convert burps into open mouthed, drawn out, rumbly, belches. He can compete with Homer Simpson. I think his lips even rumble; due to the force of the burp coming out of his mouth. This drives me crazy. 


Initially I was proud of his accomplishment. The day  he figured out how to burp. His whole face lite up. I might of even clapped and shouted "yeah!". Of course, he was much younger and his burp was cute and innocent.


But now, he is a belching monster.


"What?" when I give him the displeased mom look. "I had to burp" he says innocently. As if the burping is a method to keep his head from exploding.


I am not a big fan of telling your kids non truths well unless, its for adult comedy. Then its O.K.


So the other day when Tanner walked in the house and gave off this disgusting belch. I lied.


Me: sitting on the couch getting the bird nerd on; reading birders magazine. Without looking up, I said "Tanner, do you like your left hand?" 


Tanner: "What?"


Me: (Still reading the magazine) "Do you like your left hand?"


Tanner: "Yeah?"


Me: (slowly, I turn page of magazine and still don't look up). "Well if you keep burping like that your left hand will fall off!"


Tanner: "What?" Out of the corner of my eye, I witness the look of concern as it blooms on his face.


(Casi, behind tanner, peaks into the room a grin on her face)


Tanner: concerned now, says "but I have to burp sometimes".


Me: (still reading the magazine) "Well, I guess you better get it under control or 'pop!' just like that it will fall off. 


Tanner trudges upstairs deep in thought, Casi and I control giggles, and the burping has stopped (at least for a week or two).


Update: I just learned that Casi elongated the causes of burping to include the "growth of a tentacle that you can not control"

Things I overheard: from myself

"Winder dairy day! Crap, I forgot to order", I said to myself.

As I opened the ice box located next to the back door, I wondered what was on my automatic weekly order. Oh good, soy milk and eggs. What a relief!

"Well, at least its something I need", I thought.

Things I overheard: Casi

"Ahh, the scent of new clothes and fear".

A Jr High teacher to 7th grade students on their first day of school.

Beginning 7th grade is everything I remembered as I witnessed it through the eyes of my daughter (who handled the changes way better than I) and my own experiences this year. Casi, Nate and I dealt with overworked counselors who do not listen or seem to care, teachers with extensive school supply lists, and 8th and 9th graders who appear larger than life.

"There is one section where the 8th and 9th graders cross the 7th grader hall, its crazy getting through. The 8th and 9th graders cross east to west with their friends laughing and talking. The 7th graders who seem so small in the mix of students, cross North and south. Clutching their books with worried expressions on their faces."

On the day Casi and I worked to complete the "extensive" school supply list, we spent many many hours together in the car, in the store, in the next store, in another store, on the phone calling another store, in the store again... and another store and another store. After three hours we never did finish the list but we did enjoyed ourselves. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

Casi: I like this song! *pause* "I like it when a song you like is new and they play it all the time."
*"Gives you hell", by American Rejects plays on the radio*
Me: Confused (as usual) "This song isn't new."
Casi: "Well it was!"
__________________________________________

Me: "You look cute today"
Casi: " I prefer Hot, Mom. "
Me: "You cannot attain hot until your 18! I will not have you describing yourself as hot (nor will I) until then" I replied in a sarcastic but stern voice.
Casi: Mockingly replies "Oh, she looks so warm today."
We both laughed and now use this phase to describe anyone with a great look.

Disclaimer: My inability to call Casi "hot" has nothing to do with me thinking she is ugly. I think she is a gorgeous girl (I made her myself). It has more to do with me trying to be funny with her. (and I was) .  I was playing on the thought that all mothers (including myself) have a hard time letting there kids grow up. So please let me hold back their development just a little. If only by keeping thong undies out of her drawer and certain sexually descriptive vocabulary from being directed towards her. Like I told Tanner last night, " If I hug you hard enough and long enough, will you stop growing so fast?" He of course giggled and we hugged tightly for an undetermined amount of time. I know slowing their growth and (perhaps) sexual development is a hopeless cause, a mother can try. Can't she?

In Casi's Math class, Casi was assigned a seat behind an 8th grader who is tall, wide, and smells bad " I spent the whole period with my nose in my sleeve and leaning to the side to see the board."

Due to the difficulties she experienced, she asked to be moved and ended up sitting next to this little rebel; an 8th grader who likes to cause trouble. He is openly disrespectful to the teacher and other students. Seeing a new victim, he spent the entire period tossing small bits of paper at Casi. She would then gently brush the paper off her desk and go on with her work. After hearing this story (and a few others) I could tell there would be many stories regarding this little gem of a student.

Me: "We should give him a special name. It will help relieve stress and make the stories more funny instead of irritating"
****long pause****
Casi: " How about Tomato.
Me: Tomato?
Casi: Yea, he has a weird name like Mataoe"
Me: "Oh, I was thinking of something more like dumb ass."
*of course, we went with Tomato. *

If there is one thing Casi should understand by now, it is my sense of humor.

Disclaimer: at no point in time would I ever be serious about encouraging my 12 year old daughter to call another person a dumb ass. This comment was only said, in case you didn't notice, after she found her own name. And it was said (as with most of my comments) to be funny . 

Also, I would not suggest using such humor on all kids, Casi has a very adult understanding of humor (especially mine). Tanner on the other hand, if I had this conversation with him would be walking around saying "dumb ass" and giggling every time he said it. Therefore I would not use such a technique on this child.

Oh and one more thing, because I just enjoy saying it, in the words of Red Forman from That 70's show "Don't be a dumb ass" .

Things I overheard: Tanner style

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.--Franklin P. Jones, U.S. humorist

Tanner decides to wash his hair ...in the sink instead of showering.

Me: "You have made a mess, Tanner." said with a growl.

Tanner: " Yes. *sigh* It was a lot of work."

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.--Ralph Waldo Emerson, (1803--1883), U.S. essayist

Durring the same morning Tanner suffers a series of Hiccup's!.

Me: "Tanner stop burping!" *crusty look appropriately given*

*Hiccup!*

Tanner: gives look of surprise.

*Hiccup!*

Me: "oh! you have the hiccup's."

*Hiccup!*

*pause*

*Hiccup!*

*pause*

*Hiccup!-beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch!*

Me: *Stern look*

Tanner: "What? It had hiccup in it!"

Things I overheard

When Nate goes out of town my mom steps in and handles the morning schedule. Makes sure the kids (well mostly Tanner) are dressed, feed, packs lunches, and drives them to school. A while ago, Casi told me this story.

She said that Grandma had finished getting Tanner dressed and then sat him down to breakfast. When she left the room, Tanner leaned over to Casi and whispered "Casi, help my hair"

Things I overheard: A superhero's story

Tanner and I are driving in the car when Tanner starts intensely flinging his hands at the radio.

Tanner grumbles: "Why is it not working?"

Me: "Why is what, not working?"

Tanner: "In Daddy's truck I can change the volume by doing this." Tanner flings his right arm at the radio and wingles his fingers
"I can change the music too!"

Me: "Well, why don't you try it again?"

Tanner snaps his right arm into place and wringles his fingers. The radio station changes.

Tanner excitedly states: "It works in your car too!" He then immediately flings his other arm forward and I hit the button on my steering wheel for volume. I am excited he didn't notice my trick.

The car is rather intense as Tanner continues tossing out one arm after the other at the radio. Arms whipping forward into place. Fingers wriggling with glee. His attention focused on his task. But I have a problem. I do not know what arm or finger wiggle does what action. So I change the radio stations and volume randomly; right arm, volume up, right fingers wriggle, station down, left arm, volume down, left fingers wriggle, volume up.

Finally he relaxes and lets out a sigh. He sits back in his seat. His eyes focused straight ahead and both arms lay silently at his side. He is deep in thought. After some time, he turns his head towards me and states with unease.

Tanner: "I don't know how to control my powers"

Things I overheard

While watching Scrubs...

Casi: "Ha ha! JD is so funny. He is such a dork and he tries so hard to be cool."

Me: "Don't we all?"

Things I overhead

Photo taken by Casi with her cell phone. 

_______________________________________________________________

Tanner: "Mom do you know where the computer charger is? The computer just downloaded on me."

________________________________________________________________

Tanner: "Mom do you know what the fastest Dinosaur is?"

Mom: "What?"

Tanner: "A Cheetahitchisaur."

Mom: "Did you just make that up?"

Tanner: "No!"

Mom: "Thats too bad its pretty funny."

Tanner: "Oh yeah, I did."

Things I overhead

On the way home from grocery shopping today; after I bought an embarrassingly huge box of Eggo waffles and 1/2 dozen box of donuts. I saw the black truck in front of me had purposely hung an item from its underparts to identify the sex of the truck and the low neuron count of the driver.

Me: " I don't get why people have to hang things like that on their vehicles."

Casi: "Yuck! I don't get it either.... What is it?"

Me: *silence*

Things I overheard

Tanners class recieved a camera from a grant that Mrs Shaffer (his Kindergarten teacher) applied for.  They take pictures to document their classroom. ThenMrs Shaffer writes the story with the pictures and sends it home with a child, each day, to read with their family.

Tonight we read about what the class was thankful for. Tanner was thankful for "the whole world and even candy". No way! We continued reading. The kids in Tanners class  were thankful for their parents, cats, dogs, and siblings. Then one little girl said she was thankful for the "whole earth". Tanner seemed deep in thought so I stopped turning the pages (Tanner is reading!). I looked at him till he could tell me what was on his mind.

Tanner: There are mean people on the earth.

Me: Really Who?

Tanner: Nobody we know.

I feel better....

Things I overheard

I was picking Casi up from school. I had Emily, my niece and tanner already in the car. When we pulled up Casi was involved in a very aggressive game of "Oh Marium" (a game she learned in Greeece) and didnt notice we were there. I sent Tanner to go get her. He went and told her we were there. She stopped her game and Tanner and Casi holding hands walked away to get her things.  Then Emily, who is 5,  says "Where in the Hell are they going?" 

Things I overheard

Last week I was informed that Tanner was not up on his immunizations.  His second HepB shot was given 3 days too soon. So I had to take him in again and he was not very happy.  The last time he was immunized he received 4 different shots.  Two shots at a time. Two per leg.  So today, after the shot was given, I turned to him and said:

Me: See that wasn't so bad!

Tanner: No.

Me: Getting one shot is a lot better than getting four shots.

Tanner: Yes, but getting no shots is best.