Fear

I was sitting on my deck, like I do many afternoons, mornings, and evenings. OK I sit there, pretty much any time of the day that I can. As I sat there watching the trees I noticed a spider web. The artist of this web had chosen one of our patio chairs and the railing to be the support material of its masterpiece. The artists work also gave hints to its identification.

The jumbled, disorganized, messy looking web identified it as a member of the cobweb family. And I thought "the black widow belongs to the cobweb family". Wary, I started tracing the perimeter of the deck with my eyes. Looking at numerous webs clinging between the railing. The same deck I cleared of cobwebs the weekend before. I stared getting fidgety. Wondering just how many spiders had surrounded me. I hate being afraid though, so I calmed myself down with the realization that most common (and harmless) house spiders also belong to the cobweb family.

I crept closer to the web to get a better view.

“Fear always springs from ignorance.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), American lecturer, poet, and essayist

Contrary to what most believe, I fear spiders and always have (snakes too). But for whatever reason this fear made me interested in them. And so at the age of 11, I caught every spider I could find. I even purposely slaughtered a female black widow with a shovel in order to jar the egg sack she was protecting. She fought hard to protect her eggs but eventually I won out and the egg sack was mine. (I know, *gasp!* I could not even fathom killing today! Well, not unless I ate it or was in serious danger.) I ended up with quite a collection of jarred spiders and brought them into school for show and tell and my teacher gave them a place within the classroom for the next week. I can still see the row of my jarred tiny treasures sitting on top of the tall file cabinet by her desk.

The Black widow egg sack finally did open and a slew of tiny white baby black widows stumbled out. My father euthanized the babies immediately after birth. I watched from across the room; confused between my education and the confidence in his decision that they could not live.

In all honest, I am a bit creeped out by the deck now. The possibility of a slew of Black widows living under the deck has crept into my mind making me axious when I walk out the door. I calm myyself down though with the knowledge I learned in 6th grade. If it is a Black widow, they prefer to hunt at night and they are VERY unlikely to bite a human. They have to be provoked. I also know that Black widows are important the health of my yard. I take a deep breath, walk out the door, sit in my favorite chair and drink my morning coffee.

What do you fear and how do you manage/ignore/deal with/ your fears?

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Test your skills (or ignorance :)

Which images are the Black widow and which ones are the harmless house spider?

(I will post the answer on this post next week)