My story: 2010

One of my friends posted this. A beautiful post regarding her story, as she will write it, in 2010. I loved it but I was not going to do it. I have always liked not defining the new year. Instead, I like to see things from a rear view window perspective. Seeing what has happened. What I did "by accident" with out any planning. In some ways, having no plan, is silly but bold.

Another friend posted hers this morning and I started to feel left out. Sometimes thats what it takes. Peer pressure. Eh- besides I dont have anything else to do with my life. Being kicked out of the TV room, not having a book to read, having read ALL the blogs I follow and NOT wanting to search out more blogs.  I am utterly afraid that one more blog will only fuse my reality further in with the internet;  the light of the computer my sun and these blogs my personal friends.  So I thought, rather than do that, perhaps, I will try to write my story. As I would like it to read for 2010. It is a good idea after all and I may like this way of looking into the new year. So here is my story. As I see it. Today. Waiting to be filled in like a paint by number that reality will color.

My 2010 story

My 2010 story will obviously contain story's that reflect on the outside world. An existence of observation. This type of relationship with nature will always be a part of my life. Observing. Enjoying. Loving. Reflecting. But for 2010, I want to "up the anty" by adding a physical element. I have a few ideas in my head. Nothing new, though. Perhaps 2010 will be the year I find this missing detail.

In 2010, my story will include learning to fit into a new place; the Bell Canyon House. A house where my furniture does not fit and seems outdated.  Our daily functions are out of whack, dysfunctional,  and rough; the word "organization" rings loudly in my head. We have already added so much of ourselves to this new  house but it still does not have the "fit" that the Gold  Medal home had, after 9 years of living in it. It is my hope that within  2010 I will see the definition of our Bell Canyon house change to include the word... Home.

In 2010 my kids will  change. Especially Casi,  as she turns from 12 to 13; moving into the world of TEENAGER! Of course, I have been saying she was 13 for at least 6 months. I knew it was coming.  The signs have been there; flashing, Neon, and huge. I have been reading books with Casi. Trying to keep up with her hunger for books is difficult but rewarding. I noticed, that I often have a hard time bonding with the main character; usually female, rebellious, and teenager. Watching in print what I see in my home through a parents perspective can make it hard to relate. I think it hard because in my heart, I know 2010 will be the beginning of a long journey as she discovers her adult self and that for me, it may be a time fraught with moments of trying to hold on. I plan to fight these urges, dismiss any feelings of personal offense,  and hope, instead, to guide and support. I may joke that I will see her again in 2017.

There will be chapters, in my 2010 story, about Tanner.  As he learns new things and then shares them with us. Often to the point of annoyance. His exuberance can be exhausting. Yesterday, this showed in the form of whistling. He brags he "is the second person to learn in his whole class". I smile as I watch his new found talent float about him in nonsensical tunes, announcing his location like a bell on a cat, and driving poor Casi to slam doors. I look forward to being a part of these revelations. Enjoying his passions and energy and discoveries as they often come; in the form of loud obnoxious belching and dreams of making arm pit farts.

The last part of the 2010 story will include my Nate. I often overlook his part in my life. Our lives are so intertwined it is often hard to distinguish his part from mine. Nate has been with me so long it is hard to  imaging my story with out him.  He has played a vital part in who I am today and I look forward to the part he will play as we enter 2010.