Conflicted

Things I over heard: "Where is Vancouver?"

While sitting at R.C. Willey watching the Winter Olympics....


Boy: "Where is Vancouver?"

Girl: "Washington."

a whisper no more

I do not know how this got published. I was not finished. It was supposed to say "where is all the freaking snow?" But, now people have commented and I don't have the heart to pull it. Oh, well. Perhaps this is the only way all of those posts in my "unpublished" file will ever get posted. 

Update: Never mind. I just deleted it. It sucked. I could not stand looking at it any more.

Valentines

Nate and I had some of our friends over for a Valentines dinner. Nate planned, shopped for, and cooked the food and I did the cleaning and decorating. We split the work so neither of us are tired when the party starts. I love that he enjoys having people over and that he is willing to help out.

Nate went Italian with the food, serving roast beef with a yummy roasted tomato sauce and sauteed mushroom and artichoke pasta. Kendra and Nick supplied a green salad and dressing (I am still thinking about how good it was).  Brandon and Kate brought Tiramisu!

I had so many plans for the table setting but had a little difficulty putting it all together. I wanted turquoise and silver colors but I could not find a material store. Its really hard moving and not knowing were anything is. Over all I think it turned out well and probably kept more with the Italian theme than my initial plans. My favorite part of the decorations was the use of 16X16 inch floor tiles as the place mats and placing candles everywhere to make up for the fact that we still have not found a light to go over out table.

Hope everyone had a great holiday spent with those they love.

Happy Valentines Day!

Home remodel goes eXtreme!

As most of you know Nate and I (and the kids- a tiny tiny bit) have been working to update our new home. We have lived here about 7 months now and have tortured ourselves with the constant upheaval a home remodel makes.

As if moving itself is not enough.

We started immediately with the remodel of the kids rooms. In case you have not seen them. Here they are:

  

[Casi's purple teen room. Complete with "Always climb higher" sign, Edward figure (even though she is not a "twilight junkie" :), cool painted pin board, a comfy reading chair and light, a floating night stand, swirly-green-shear 70's curtains, and fun swirly/stripped blankets and pillows.]

[Tanners "lava" colored room. With a lava play cave, skull "danger" sign, cool fire light, red and black bedding, and black magnet paint strip that goes around the entire room to hang his paper creations on.]

We then tried to stop ourselves. We even took a "break". But in the end, we found ourselves at home depot. Again. Making plans. Making dreams.

Phase two of our home remodel started with the purchase of dark, wide plank, hand scrapped maple floors for the entry, dining room, and kitchen. But to do that we needed to change the walls and railing. Creating more work. So much work. Sheetrock work.  Mud  work. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty work. Here is are the before/after shots. Note the changes in the back wall.

An almost final project!

Note: the paint cans in the background, the stairs still need to be finished, and we want to refinish all of the beams with refurbished barn wood.

This photo shows off the first table Nate and I ever bought (this comment brings back memories of the spool we used to have. Anyone remember that stage? Anyone?)

The best thing about this table is we bought it on KSL. Used. Ok there are many reasons to be excited.

I am so excited because:

 a) Its a Lofgrens table - I love Lofgrens!

b) Its dark and round

c) The chairs are way cute and cOmFY!

d) It can expand to 100 inches and seat 12 people  (Nate's request. Nate is a GREAT cook!If you haven't had  Nate's cooking. Its not too late! We will invite you over! And we could do it too. We can seat 12 people!)

e) It was only $550 (I did not even barter the price. I always barter the price but, it was a steal)

f) the lady we purchased it from was adorable and I think a bit sad to see it go. A purchase is always better from someone who is a cute person. Right?

(I am also excited because Nate just sold the light above the table on KSL. Which means, I get to buy a NEW one!)

We have also added this shelf:

To help separate the living room from the dining room.

Which makes me wonder where my big box of shelf shit is? I still can not find it from the move. Not that I had much shelf shit. Oh well, I would rather fill the whole thing up with books anyways.  And books are NOT shelf shit. At least not in my home. 

So all of this huge ramble is actually an introduction to the most amazing story. About me. An introduction to the main characters mindset. To help you  understand why. Why I would do such a thing. And most importantly, why I think it was the "most fun thing I did in weeks!"

So lets set the stage: It was a weekday. The kids are on the way to bed. A huge, yellow wall looms over. Still needing a second coat. A ladder  A HUGE and dirty ladder is in the middle of the home. Driving me crazy with its imposing -ness. I am SO close to being finished with these 7 months of work.

JUST NEED TO FINISH THE PAINTING!

The sceen starts to swirl. We go back to the past. A distant memory where Nate gives a warning:

"Do not climb the ladder unless someone is holding it"

Creepy music plays in the background and we return to the present understanding its warning.

I climb the ladder and start painting. Casi comes in. I look to her and tell her sarcastically not to tell daddy on me. She heads off to bed.

I continue to paint. Bucket of yellow paint in one had. Paint brush in the other. Up. Down. Move the ladder. Up down. Move the ladder. This continues until...

I climbed the ladder for the last time. Once I am at the top, I reach up to the wall. Placing the roller and rolling it down 6 inches. When suddenly, I feel the ladder move and I know I am going to fall.

The ladder removes itself and I fall.

Down.
(This is the first fall, since bungee jumping, where I actually FELT the fall. Perhaps, Nate can estimate the distance.)

I feel the balls of my feet slam on the floor, my knees bend all the way to the ground, my hips catch what is left. my tail bone hits the ladder,  and I lay down to the floor.

The  kids run in asking "are you OK!"

I respond with "Wow! That was a rush!" (and it was)

Once I cleaned up the mess (of paint, ladder, and me) with shaky hands that only a shot of adrenaline can give. I asked Tanner if he was going to tell on me. He responded with. "Yes, I think I am."

There's a certain slant of light

I feel pent up. Caught. Trapped. 


Nate says I tend to get this way when I don't get out. I think he is right and that is exactly what I need. To go outside. 


It does not help that the Salt Lake Valley has been capped with a lid of visible pollutants. Intensifying the caged feeling I have. I need to get out. Do something physical.  I am my own trap.

Logan, December 26th 2009

There’s a certain Slant of light,

Winter Afternoons —

That oppresses, like the Heft

Of Cathedral Tunes —

Heavenly Hurt, it gives us —

We can find no scar,

But internal difference,

Where the Meanings, are —

None may teach it — Any —

’Tis the Seal Despair —

An imperial affliction

Sent us of the Air —

When it comes, the Landscape listens —

Shadows — hold their breath —

When it goes, ’tis like the Distance

On the look of Death —

Emily Dickinson, There's a certain slant of light

My story: 2010

One of my friends posted this. A beautiful post regarding her story, as she will write it, in 2010. I loved it but I was not going to do it. I have always liked not defining the new year. Instead, I like to see things from a rear view window perspective. Seeing what has happened. What I did "by accident" with out any planning. In some ways, having no plan, is silly but bold.

Another friend posted hers this morning and I started to feel left out. Sometimes thats what it takes. Peer pressure. Eh- besides I dont have anything else to do with my life. Being kicked out of the TV room, not having a book to read, having read ALL the blogs I follow and NOT wanting to search out more blogs.  I am utterly afraid that one more blog will only fuse my reality further in with the internet;  the light of the computer my sun and these blogs my personal friends.  So I thought, rather than do that, perhaps, I will try to write my story. As I would like it to read for 2010. It is a good idea after all and I may like this way of looking into the new year. So here is my story. As I see it. Today. Waiting to be filled in like a paint by number that reality will color.

My 2010 story

My 2010 story will obviously contain story's that reflect on the outside world. An existence of observation. This type of relationship with nature will always be a part of my life. Observing. Enjoying. Loving. Reflecting. But for 2010, I want to "up the anty" by adding a physical element. I have a few ideas in my head. Nothing new, though. Perhaps 2010 will be the year I find this missing detail.

In 2010, my story will include learning to fit into a new place; the Bell Canyon House. A house where my furniture does not fit and seems outdated.  Our daily functions are out of whack, dysfunctional,  and rough; the word "organization" rings loudly in my head. We have already added so much of ourselves to this new  house but it still does not have the "fit" that the Gold  Medal home had, after 9 years of living in it. It is my hope that within  2010 I will see the definition of our Bell Canyon house change to include the word... Home.

In 2010 my kids will  change. Especially Casi,  as she turns from 12 to 13; moving into the world of TEENAGER! Of course, I have been saying she was 13 for at least 6 months. I knew it was coming.  The signs have been there; flashing, Neon, and huge. I have been reading books with Casi. Trying to keep up with her hunger for books is difficult but rewarding. I noticed, that I often have a hard time bonding with the main character; usually female, rebellious, and teenager. Watching in print what I see in my home through a parents perspective can make it hard to relate. I think it hard because in my heart, I know 2010 will be the beginning of a long journey as she discovers her adult self and that for me, it may be a time fraught with moments of trying to hold on. I plan to fight these urges, dismiss any feelings of personal offense,  and hope, instead, to guide and support. I may joke that I will see her again in 2017.

There will be chapters, in my 2010 story, about Tanner.  As he learns new things and then shares them with us. Often to the point of annoyance. His exuberance can be exhausting. Yesterday, this showed in the form of whistling. He brags he "is the second person to learn in his whole class". I smile as I watch his new found talent float about him in nonsensical tunes, announcing his location like a bell on a cat, and driving poor Casi to slam doors. I look forward to being a part of these revelations. Enjoying his passions and energy and discoveries as they often come; in the form of loud obnoxious belching and dreams of making arm pit farts.

The last part of the 2010 story will include my Nate. I often overlook his part in my life. Our lives are so intertwined it is often hard to distinguish his part from mine. Nate has been with me so long it is hard to  imaging my story with out him.  He has played a vital part in who I am today and I look forward to the part he will play as we enter 2010.

Things I overheard: Casi

Having a teenager is hard. I mean really hard. I blame. Me. And my moms curses. I was a hard teenager too. At least that is what she tells me. For, I thought I was fine and she was the deviant. At least, that is what I thought back then. Today. I admit. I was a hard teenager.


So as a parent, on a day when you win a battle, with your teenager, you should celebrate. Because yes. There are winners and losers. And it is, WAR!  So you celebrate. Because, as the parent, you don't get to win. Often. At least this is my experience. Or, at least my perception. Since, I am certain Casi would say otherwise. And probably thinks I am a deviant.


 And it matters because, you want so badly to be successful. Your success being tied to their success. In life. At least that is what her psychiatrist will tell her. As he explains how I screwed up. For I know, I will. Or already have.


But, I have digressed from my true point in this ramble. So when you realize you have had this small victory. You should celebrate. And Today. I choose to celebrate by bragging. 


Me: "The next time you say a negative comment you have to follow it with two positive ones."


Casi: "THAT IS....! (long pause) I guess I will just stop talking."


I won! right? She is such a smart girl.

The world wakes

The day after Christmas, I got together with Ern who was visiting her parents in Logan. I was also, in Logan Richmond Idaho, whatever. The point being, we where only 30 min away from each other and decided to meet. Perhaps, we could scare up some bird life too. 

I left early in the morning, when all but one in the house were sleeping. As Quiet as I could, I stumbled into layers of gear. Expecting the worst from the weather. When I was finally dressed, I headed to the door passing my father-in-law on the way out. He gave me a look that seemed to say "you wont make it 10 minuets" or "you might be bit crazy"... or, perhaps, those were my own thoughts knowing December in Logan is very cold. I started my car and dreamed of coffee while it warmed up. My car registered the outside temperature at 4F. I hoped it would get warmer. It didn't. 

Ern and I meet at Sues ponds a half hour later. It was 0F. After documenting the temperature and noting the frost forming on my hair, we walked down the dirt road that splits the small preserve in half. The world was white with fog and the layers of frost and snow. It was incredibly beautiful. Serene. Tranquil. We invaded the silence, with the crunch of footsteps and quiet chatter. 

I longed to be quiescent with this sleeping world. My mind silenced by place; the bitterness of cold, the visual weight and depth created by fog, the purity of white, and the scarcity of life. A passive and frigid world of  ice, fierceness and peace, sleep and silence, exquisite artistry, and penetrating coldness. Soon the cold has its effect and we move on to a new location, Hoping our car heaters will warm us up before the next stop.

As we reach the next stop, at a small pond along a major road in Logan,  the sun starts to break the fog, turns the world a golden hue,  and initiates the awakening of the world around us. We start to see the subtle movement of feathered life at the back of a pond. Cars drove by. A muskrat slowly swims along the bank. 

We then went to the 20-20 ponds and Starbucks for a mid morning warmer before ending at a cemetery where we are entertained by Golden-crowned Kinglet's, many American Robins, a dog who barked enthusiastically, and a man who recognized our passion and then shared his mothers love for birds. The lowest temperature was -2F and the high was 4F. 

An easy and comfortable fit

Yesterday a friend (Beth) and I went birding at Antelope island. Beth normally resides in Omaha (A word I like to say out loud every chance I get) but she is in town for the holidays and a wedding. I felt lucky that I got to enjoy her company while she was in town.

Beth and I share a passion for Antelope Island, so when she comes into town we usually agree its the place we would like to go. Following our traditions, I picked her up at the 2600 exit in Bountiful after filling my cup with HOMEMADE CHAI (thats right Ern, its back!!!!). We then drive to the island. The car filled with our constant chatter as we describe our lives, what our kids are up to, what makes us happy and fulfilled. We can even talk politics and religion; her opinion although different than mine always compliments how I feel. I  think, Beth and I talk best when driving and I blame carpooling to the University of Utah for three years. Making it an easy and comfortable fit.

As expected, the Island was quite. A white fog filled the sky, meeting the white-coated earth at some undetectable point. We saw a few birds and a coyote as we drove in. Most notable though, was what we did not see; gulls.

As we entered the island, we opted to break tradition and go to the ranger station. Noting the gang of chuckars in the rocks just north of the ranger station and seeing a rock wren just before entering the building. Some things never change. We wandered the ranger station, noting new books on the shelfs, checking out the brine shrimp tank,  enjoying the local artists photographs that line the wall, and speaking to the ranger about any recent and fun bird sightings. We then headed to the Ranch.

On the drive, we saw a pair of flickers and an accipiter in a riparian area, a few bison grazed and horned larks flitted at the road side. The coolest thing we saw was a porcupine sitting in a tree. ( I did not take any pictures this trip.... so I drew a picture of what it looked like.) Cool huh!

This sighting got me thinking about porcupines and so I did a little research. The porcupine we saw was the North American Porcupine, Erethizon dorsatum. Described as a large rodent ( I would have added "pooky" before rodent.) that lies in Alaska, Canada, and much of the northern and western contiguous United states. It is also said to be common in Utah but this is the first time I have ever seen one. Another interesting thing I read is that "the quills usually lay flat against the body unless the porcupine suspects danger". As you can see in my wonderful drawing the quills in the porcupine, we saw, were raised. Which makes me wonder, were Beth and I in danger of being quilled?

After watching the porcupine do a whole lot of nothing, we drove on to the ranch. The ranch is a huge riparian area with a fresh water spring that attracts many song birds. At the spring we saw Spotted Towhees, Song Sparrows, and many American Goldfinch's who must have had social bath time; they were all wet and puffy and preening like mad. We also saw 5-6 Virgina rails wandering in the open spring.  Seeing so many rails in an open area, without fear of us watching them a short distance away (5 ft) is a bit odd. Rails, in general, are quite abundant but are rarely seen.

Overall the day was perfect and my only regret (if I need to have one) is not taking any photos. Course, sometimes its nice to enjoy the scenery without the pains of trying to capture it. Plus, not having a photo of the way cool porcupine allowed me to hone my Photoshop skills. YeeaaaH!

Happy New year; 2010!

To celebrate the new year, Nate, the kids, and I went downtown. Here is our night of celebration in bullet point form.

•  I took 150 terrible pictures. 
• Casi purchased and wore a pink, flashing, bunny ears.
• We witnessed a female snowboarder break... something. 
• Tanner found a balloon, gave it a name, and carried it around like a baby.
• Casi and I saw a concert and danced like we had no cares.
• Sadly, we never found the exhibit where the melting of 100,000 marshmallows was to take place. It would have been so cool!
• People twirled fire while we Ohh'd! and Ahh'd!
• We ate at Market Street. The kids had drinks bigger than their heads, Nate drank something pink, we ate very large shrimp, clam chowder, and seared Ahi. The kids enjoyed it all.
• Someone commented on how warm it was...three times.
• We went home at 10 pm, after finding out that planetarium was sold out and we were too cold to go on.
• The last hour was spent at home with hot chocolate, a fire, friends, and games.
• We went outside to vocalize our excitement for the new year and heard our neighbors.
• Tanner energetically banged a pot until the spatula broke. 

Christmas 2009

Our first Christmas, in our new home, started two days early with the building of this fire.

 

Which helped us realize that one of our gifts was a fire screen.  Thanks Grandma! After opening the gift, we  sat around the fire and drank (spiked and non-spiked) hot chocolate with the kids. We enjoyed our first Christmas gift.

Its so pretty!

________________________________________________________

On Christmas morning the kids opened their gifts from Santa. Once Casi opened hers (a cell phone) this is all we saw.

Tanners gift from Santa was snowboarding gear and a letter from Santa. The letter spoke of how, this year, Nate was Santas little helper. Explaining why Tanner kept seeing the snowboard out in the garage.

 The letter also asked Tanner to go in his room to find a gift Santa put there.

 I think Tanner liked it.

Tanner spent the rest of Christmas morning (before we headed to Logan) playing with Legos.

Oh,  I got this!!!!

A REAL coffee maker! I can make a whole  12 cups of coffee now!

Christmas Bird Count (CBC) 2009

I have been so bad at posting lately. I havent felt much like writing. The fact that I have tried to write is obvious since there are 10 almost blank posts in my "edit posts" box.

The CBC and I have a love hate relationship! Its freaking cold. I don't like the cold. It has taken me Nate two years to purchase enough gear; so I don't shiver all day long.  Ski pants, long johns, 100% wool, scarf wide enough to cover the lower half of your face, hat with ear covers, ski gloves attached to your coat (so you can pull them off and on all day long as you need to flip through a book or look at a map), and boots-water proof and insulated. This year, however, it was practically Bikini weather"; reaching almost 40 degrees mid day. My fingers and toes reached the level of warm after the first hour. I didn't shiver once. I still wore all of my gear, even with the higher temperatures.


So "Why would you want to go out and count birds?" This question was asked by my mother in law and I think its a good question.*


* I also felt this question a few days later as I geared up for a romp in the "wilderness" with my good friend Erin. The low for that day was -2 F, so I don't blame all the questioning looks. I hope to post on that experience later.

It is answered a bit over here where I state:

"The CBC  is an essential part of conservative efforts; providing scientists with 109 years of data regarding bird population fluctuations, migration, northward range extensions, and declining species."  

Kind of a bland statement, but what I am trying to say is that the CBC is a citizen science project.  Meaning, I get to go out and gather data for real live scientist to use. Now, knowing that the CBC data is used for science is a great big fuzzy hug for me but, thats not really why I do it.Which brings me to my next quote from me. Originally posted here.

"... birding is not just about the birds. Birding is an experience with nature."

Which is the real reason why I enjoy the CBC. It helps me get outside during a time when I don't like to; during the cold months of winter.

_________________________________________________________________

A short review of the days counts (12/19/2009):


We started out our day at 8:00 am** at the Jordan River Parkway near 2320 S. Here we observed 40 of the 51 species counted. These included Borrows Goldeneye, Buffleheads, Ruddy ducks, and a surprise from a very vocal Kingfisher. We walked for 2.5 hours at this location. The only downer was the removal of a large section of Russian olive trees where I was hoping to see Spotted Towhees, White-crowned Sparrows, and a billion European Starlings.***  Due to the reclaiming of this area, these species were not seen. I was disappointed, even though I know the area will be better for the birds. So in about 50 -150 years... it will be REALLY cool!


** Rather late, really, after hearing that some of the other groups started the night before at 11:30 pm (the count goes from 12:00 am to 11:59 PM; giving 24 hours of counting. Now theres the crazy people!
*** I may be overstating this number a bit.

Our next stop was Decker Lake, an important area that provides shoreline for shorebirds. The water level of the lake was a bit higher than I normally see providing less shore area. Meaning the shorebird numbers were lower and  adding only ONE greater yellow legs, to our list, and no sandpipers. 12 species were observed here.


We then headed to the Stonebridge Golf course area. Veiwing it from 4646s (IHC building) and from the Discover card and Ingenix building parking lot areas. We saw A LOT of Canada geese (772), a Hooded Merganser, 3 Cackling geese, and one Thayer's gull in a group of 299 Ringed-billed gulls; for a total of 19 species.


After the Stonebridge area we went for lunch before heading to the last two areas along the Jordan River Parkway. We still had not seen the Spotted Towhees and White-crowned Sparrows. Two easy birds for our area.


We stopped at the Jordan River parkway along 4700 S and headed south.  Here we saw 23 species including many Yellow-rumped Warblers, a Marsh wren, 3 song sparrows, a Hermit Thrush, and a MERLIN! The first Merlin I have ever seen in Utah. We worked really hard to find the Spotted Towhees and White-crowned Sparrows, and also California Quails and Ringed-neck Pheasants here but never saw them. Due to this, we decided to check another area along the Jordan River Parkway; 4100 S.  We arrived with about an hour of daylight left. Counting 112 Canada geese, one Merlin flew over head, 10 California Quail, and also our Nemesis birds: the Spotted Towhees and White-crowned Sparrows were seen; for a total of 14 species at this last stop.

Accepting a gift

My Grandmother must have made many memories sledding, I thought, as she handed me the Flexible Flyer III. It was an awkward experience receiving her gift.

We were cleaning out her garage. Collecting donations for Cassidy's trip to Italy. The sled stood in the corner. I never asked for it. I did not want it.

When we were done, she walked over and touched it. Then picked it up and handed it to me. "Its silly that I have kept this. Its never been used. Its a good sled. Don't sell it."

Well, perhaps, those where not her exact words but I could see the sled meant something to her so, I accepted her gift,  even though I did not want the gift and it was given with strings attached. She wanted to make sure it had a good home.

Since then we have used the sled many times. Like Here and Here*.  Looking back, I think she knew what she was giving, even though I did not.

*The last "here" will take you to one of my most googled web page and includes graphs --Oh, how I love graphs!

Tanner appreciating a view.
Taken at Dimple Dell after an evening of single track sledding on a Flexible Flyer III

I received a gift poorly. Once. It was a rocking chair.

I was pregnant with Casi and emotional as all hell.**

** I will deny this if asked, but ask anyone else, who knew me at that time, and they will tell you what is probably the truth.

My mom wanted to give me a rocking chair for Christmas. She searched for one within her price range over the span of many weeks. She found one at Pier 1 Imports with a defect that my father could fix. She excitedly bargained down the price and brought it home.

I unwrapped the gift and thanked her but, my expression must have shown my true feelings. Eventually, I told her I did not like the gift.

I  know my Mom has forgiven me. I still feel terrible.

I have accepted many unwanted gifts before (and after) the rocking chair incident. I think I can accept a gift well.

I read Cannery Row by John Steinbeck while I was in college.

A book that depicts life in a depressed fishing town in California. The story of the owner of a chinese grocery, ladies of the night,  a household of grown-up delinquents, and other assorted characters coming together to give Doc a birthday party.

The books worst critics say Cannery Row has no plot.

Within its definition, plot, is concerned with how events are related, how they are structured, and how they enact change in the major characters of the book. Perhaps, Cannery Row has no plot but it did enact a change within one of its readers.  Like the incident with the rocking chair, it showed me the beauty and importance of accepting a gift.

And so, at this time of year I often think of the importance of giving gifts but also of receiving them.

A blury picture to say, "look-ee what I saw today... IN MY YARD!"

White-throated Sparrow

I was watching a spotted towhee working his way to my feeder.* I like watching these towhees. They are the under lords of the bushes. Large sparrows with red eyes and a devious expression. They twitch their tails. Flashing the white on the outer tips of there tails. Twitch. Twitch. It feels like a warning. They enter the feeder, everything scatters.

I was watching the towhee when,  I saw a small sparrow with dominant crown strips working the edge of the bushes above a rock wall. I thought he was a white-crowned sparrow, a common species to Utah but a new bird for my yard. I  ran for my binoculars and put him under glass. ** The prominent yellow spots above his eyes and bordered white throat patch told me it wasn't a white-crowned but a white-throated sparrow.

*I was suppose to be painting base boards but easily get distracted by my windows. Nate is so patient.
** A European term. It took me a long time to get it into a sentence. Yes, I feel proud of me.

Bird geek information:

The white-throated sparrow spends its summers in northern Canada and his winters east, south, and west of Utah.  They sing "Oh sweet Canada". You can listen to it here . They also have better pictures of the sparrow,  that were probably not taken through a dirty glass window with a hand held camera at 20X zoom.

A bushel and a peck

Have you ever had a song that meant something to you?  I have few songs like that. Some good some bad.

10 songs in my memories

10) Lean on me- sixth grade talent show. Dont judge me! It was an assignment and the whole sixth grade sang together. Thank god!

9) New kids on the block- *Shiver*  A boy sang it to me at Burger King. He had a crush that I did not return. While he sang,  my friends stood behind him laughing as he looked into my eyes and sang with all his heart.

8) I've got friends in low places by Garth Brooks - sang, in a group, drunk, around a campfire with our arms placed on each shoulders. Now who did not do that?

7) The Gambler by Kenny Rogers - will always remind me of my dad, in the garage, singing to an old radio. The smell of grease comes with this memory.

6) Chestnuts roasting over an open fire. As sung by my mother as we drove home from Grandma Nielson's Christmas Eve. I will never have a Christmas without feeling the warmth of my mother voice in that song or the desires to sing it (usually, out of tune).

5)

4)

3)

2) A bushel and a peck - as sung by my Grandpa Nielson. He used to sing it to me. I would always get embarrassed. I think that is why he kept doing it. He is such a tease.

1) A bushel and a peck - as sung by me to my kids.  I only remembered one or two lines of the song so I made up my own words. I am not very creative but over time it evolved into our song.

The version sung in Guys and Dolls.

I love you, a bushel and a peck!
A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!
A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin' in my sleep.
About you.
About you!
About you!
My heart is leapin'!
I'm having trouble sleepin'!
'Cause I love you, a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do!
Doodle, oodle, oodle.
Doodle, oodle, oodle.
Doodle oodle oodle oo.
I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck, go and beats me all to heck!
Beats me all to heck how I'll ever tend the farm
Ever tend the farm when I want to keep my
Arms - about you -
About you!
About you!
The cows and chickens
are goin' to the dickens!
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do -

Doodle oodle oodle
Doodle oodle oodle
Doodle oodle oodle, oo! 

Origins

2009 is the 150th anniversary of the publication of On the Origin of Species (24 November 1859) and the 200th anniversary of Darwin's birth (12 February 1809).

I have hundreds of images in my head. Red balloon-chested frigatebirds soaring overhead, a playful vermilion flycatcher putting on a show as we hiked a wooded trail,  and brightly colored sally lightfoot crabs climbing around on dark lava rocks full of marine iguanas, pictures of giant Galapagos land turtles creeping about or lolling in a muddy green pond, an Espanola mockingbird pecking at my water bottle, pilot whales splashing in the ocean, and a bright yellow mangrove warbler bouncing around on branches inches away. These are excerpts from my memories; a trip to the Galapagos Islands.

It was a celebration of marriage, a passion for the outdoors, and a respect and love of Darwin's discoveries brought forth in the publication of the Origins of species that brought Nate and I to these islands.  A book that changed the world when it was published in England over 150 years ago. A book that has been claimed as "the most important book ever written". A book, and a man, that altered how scientist look at the natural world and continues to frame biological research today. In celebration of Darwins accomplishments, I want to share some of my memories of my trip to these islands.

A favorite memory, is the dancing and diving blue-footed boobies. Either to attract a mate, or courting one, a male booby will raise one brilliantly colored web foot and then the other. There was no question that he was proud of his most distinguishing feature. When there was a pair together, they would touch their large bills together and strut around with their tails pointed to the sky.

The blue-footed boobies would fish near the shore. On one morning, Nate and I stood on a beach and watched a couple of dozen of them dive in unison – over and over again. They would lift off together after a dive, circle a time or two from a height of 50 to 75 feet or so, then point their bills downward, fold their wings in tight and splash down. Disappearing for a few seconds beneath the water before bobbing back up; with or without a fish.  Then they would do it all over again. I watched in fascination while Nate snapped pictures; trying to document the intesity of which they fished. We were reluctant to leave.

Another favorite memory was the moment I fell in love with the naked lava fields of a young island.  Each of the Galapagos islands begin life as a blank black canvas of lava; slowly painted by drifters of sea and air. I walked across one of these black canvases of only 700,000 years. Fernandina, was nothing more than a flat expanse of black lava. A large volcano loomed off in the distance; so far away it appeared almost a part of mist and sky. A few pioneer plants sparsely littered the hard crusted lava feild;  taken root in a small crease where wind had, perhaps, blown in earth from the mainland.


As we continued, we saw pockets of wetlands, formed from collapsed lava tubes, within an abundance of life would bloom. These holes, surrounded by green plant life, were centered with a clear blue, shallow pond. A world within a world containing the soft pinks of Greater flamingos, the graceful white of snowy egrets, the bold and cheerful yellow of mangrove warblers, and floating white-checked pintails. A young island who's story is just beginning.

  Other favorite memories are a sea lion's playful attack, White-tipped sharks appearing out of know where to only disappear shortly there after, a sea turtle slowly glides by,  swimming with a flightless cormorant, and amazing views where the deep blue color of sky and ocean meet black lava. A place where you can imitating a blue footed boobies mating dance, lifting one foot after the other, only to have it repeat it back to you,  listen to Lava gulls echo locate, and wait for the silvery flash of a flying fish. .The Galapagos is an interactive world where everything happens in close-up detail; where every curiosity is within reach.


The Galapagos are amazing islands but evolution did not stop with the writing of Origins by Charles Darwin.  It is still happening  today and it has been documented by scientists everywhere. My favorite account, is of  two scientist, natural selection through changing weather patterns, a finch species, over thirty years of reaserch, and a desert island in the heart of the Galapagos.*  You can read their account in The Beak of a Finch: A Story of Evolution in Our Time. Its full of sciency stuff without getting too dry. Another story is a warbler species who is changing from its parent population due to bird feeders.** This change been observed through changing migratory patterns, changing DNA, and measurable physical changes. This story can be read here, but its harder to read since it is written in conversation form.*** The last account, I wanted to share, I can not remember**** but it was a really cool story about a bird in South America.  Well thats my spill for the day..... I best be off to work.


*No this is no the beginning of a joke.


** Thats right, bird feeders.


*** but its shorter and you do not have to go to the library or purchase it off Amazon (or borrow it from me) to read it.


**** I hate forgetting. It sucks!

Things I overheard: An explorers perspective

Me: "When tanner gets home, we are going some where. You will not complain."

Casi: "Where are we going?"

Me: "You will know soon enough."

Me: "Get your shoes and socks on. Dress warm. Its the last day of 44 degree weather this week. I want to go on a hike."

Me: "Do you feel this?"

Casi: "What?"

Me: "How we feel right now. Do you feel it?"

Casi: "Yeah? What about it?" She turns to me and smiles.

Me: "I want you to remember how we feel right now. I want you to remember, this hike, as we are right now."

Things I overheard: A true story

Disclaimer: Literary snobs beware! There is no punctuation and misspellings happen everywhere. Avert your eyes if you cannot handle it. Avert them!

The hantid watr Faootin

bi: Tanner Branhc

the watr faootin is hontid

aaaaa

It is hontid

it icsplodes watr in mi face

Weekly Inspiration

As I drive to work, or the kids to school, or the grocery store, or even if I just walk out my home or look out a window I am inspired by the area I live in. The clouds, the storms, the changing of the leaves, the seasons, the wildlife, and the mountains all play a part; always changing and always inspiring. 

I struggle with a disease. When I started this blog, I thought I would write about it. I thought the blog would allow me to speak about the struggle, the pain, the gravity and hopelessness I feel, at times.  It is a living part of me and should reside here, in this blog. But, I have a hard time writing about it. I hate dwelling, whining, or even thinking about it. Yet it exists, whether I speak about it or not. And even though some days are hard, most days, are not.

Sunset over Dimple Dell Park